After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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