sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
