kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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