she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
