she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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