her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
