HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
