The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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