Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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