wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
