Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
