I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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