I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
