We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
