This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize