whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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