Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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