I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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