The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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