what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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