Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize