I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
