We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
