I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
