physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
