is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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