Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
