he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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