Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
