I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
