omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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