My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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