she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize