Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was like eating out sand paper
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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