Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
