spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
