He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
