i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
