I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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