have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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