oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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