He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
