What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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