At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We need to rekindle our bromance
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
