no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
