I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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