I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
