Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We need a shit load of segways right now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
