We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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