I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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