Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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