Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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