My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
