I want to walk on stilts...naked
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
