My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
